Aaron

"Nobody wants to play with me." :(

These were the words I heard from a little boy as he came up to me, tears in his eyes, and asked me to help him find joy in his life.

Aaron is new to youth activities in The Salvation Army. He has not had the time to develop strong friendships within its borders. As he poured out the loneliness in his heart it hit me in just the right place.

As I listened to this little boy's plight of how he didn't have any friends and how the friends he did have didn't want to play with him I noticed would not look at me. Such shame. How could some one so young feel so much guilt that even though at the tail end of an evening of fellowship his feelings of isolation would not allow him to look at me? And perhaps even more disturbing, how could I be connecting with him on such a deep level?

I assured Aaron that he was not alone, that we loved him, that I loved him and that Jesus loves him. I reminded him that while Jesus never leaves us or forsakes us sometimes we need friends who can see that for us when we can't see it for ourselves. We prayed together thanking God for always being there for us and I asked God to bring Aaron a special friend who he can be close and share life with.

Aaron left that moment without my knowing just how much he took away from it but he did seem to have a brightness about him. I however chose to stay in that moment a little while longer. I noticed a tear begin to form in my eye as I realized that Aaron was me. The reason I connected so deeply with Aaron was because he had managed to put into words feelings I had been wrestling with since I was his age. "Nobody wants to play with me." Finally those feelings had a name. Loneliness.

It was not until those feelings were given a name that they could be dealt with. Seeing them in light of this new revelation freed me to look around and see those who I have met along the way. My circumstances more that prove the falsehood of what I had been telling myself for years. It was the darkness of my shame which kept me from seeing my reality. I am not alone; nor have I ever been.

There exist those who have gone before me and others who will follow in my footsteps but it was Aaron, who walked beside me as Christ, as we plunged into the death of loneliness only to shed that very same loneliness and step into the light as new creations.

"To teach a man about loneliness only teaches him to recognize it all the more readily. It is not until you become lonely with him that he is truly saved."

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Today's blog is dedicated to and inspired by Aaron McKeen of The Salvation Army, Mitchell, SD.

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Lady Silence Breaks

Here is the understanding of Lady Silence.

I find it somewhat disturbing the number of people who connect with the wife in this story and blame the man for not listening. There are 4 times silence appears in this story. In order of appearance they are when the man refuses to speak to his wife. When the wife pursues doing work she is unequipped for on her own, when the wife is crushed and when the man falls to his knees. There is an obvious disconnect between the two characters. While the wife communicates through words the husband communicates through silence. It is only logical that those readers who communicate through words would connect with the woman and respond accordingly. It also seems that any who might communicate through silence and connect with the man would remain silent as shown by there seeming non-response.

The message I am trying to get across is twofold. To those who communicate through words; listen to the silence of others. To those who communicate through silence; if you do not use your words others will never hear your silence.

It is said that communication is both speaking and listening but I say rounded communication speaks and listens to both words and silence.

Listen again and ask yourself, "What does Lady Silence speak to me?"

Katherine

"The day I stop struggling against sin is the day I accept it in my life instead of Christ."

Whether it is because of the glamorization of laziness in America, the false impression that those who succeed in life do so without much effort or the general accessibility of almost anything you can imagine in our culture I do not know. One thing I do know is that many people feel if they have to work hard and struggle to get where they want to be they must not be doing it right. The same is true for Christians.

The Salvation Army comes from the perspective of a holiness tradition. Because of this we speak of our relationships with God in terms of entire sanctification, Christian perfection and holiness. We preach holiness, discuss holiness and claim to live holiness but I am not so sure we even know what holiness is.

I have not studied the history of holiness teaching within the Army thoroughly enough to pinpoint exactly when and where we fell off but it seems to me that where we are now stands horribly short of where we began. Holiness as lived out in the life of William Booth paints a picture rarely seen in today's Salvationists. It seems the image of holiness most Salvationists attempt to reflect is one where every thing is well and in order; that entire sanctification means you no longer struggle with sin. This I would say is far from the example set by William Booth.

To reference an old quote which has become more popular recently,

"While women weep, as they do now, I'll fight; while little children go hungry, as they do now, I'll fight; while men go to prison, in and out, in and out, as they do now, I'll fight; while there is a drunkard left, while there is a poor lost girl upon the streets, while there remains one dark soul without the light of God, I'll fight-I'll fight to the very end!"

This poem came at the end of William Booth's last public address on 9 May, 1912 in the Royal Albert Hall. I ask you this. Are these sound like the words of a man who has found his little place of comfort where he can cozy up in his own holiness oblivious to the sin in this world? NO! Quite the contrary these are the words of a man who, in his last days, continues to declare war against sin and promises to continue to do so to the very end. Sanctification is not characterized by no longer needing to struggle against sin. True holiness is characterized by not only a willingness but a desire and cosuming passion to challenge it head on!

Some of us act as if our conversion makes holiness ours by right when in fact holiness is ours by relationship. The Salvation Army was not raised up by William Booth it was raised up by Christ. William Booth just happened to be walking with Him at the time. An honest Christian when asked where their holiness lies can not point to themselves. They must point to Christ, who is our holiness. That same Christ who has fought against sin since the moment it came into creation continues to do so even to this day. If we are truely a holy people it is not of ourselves it is by living in relationship with The Holy One, by walking at his side as He tears down strongholds on this earth.

You say you are holy? Where is your fight?

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Today's blog is dedicated to and inspired by Katherine Hannigan of The Salvation Army, Sioux Falls, SD.

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Back Home

Hello all my blog followers. It is good to be back in Chicago and once again able to update my blogs.

Some of you may know that for the past week I have been in Sioux Falls, SD on what is called a spring campaign. This is a week in which a group of cadets from the training college go to various corps around the territory and minister through programs, services, and generally helping out around the corps. I went to Sioux Falls as a part of the Sangre Y Fuego brigade.

The week went great and was very encouraging. I do not have the time to share all of what happened here but I intend to continue sharing throughout the week. I am still getting back into the grove of things but I wanted to address specifically my facebook status from the other day in which I said: Ryan Hulett-Hulett realizes today he has no clue what it means to be an officer in The Salvation Army.

This statement was not meant to be negative. As some of you know I am very concerned with how the Army sees soldiership and officership. Over the past few weeks I have been working on a project which has caused me to look more closely at these issues and have been unable to come to a clear understanding of what the current view is.

There are so many competing ideas and philosophies out there that no common thread has been seen. Getting frustrated over my inability to find a standard guideline for what an officer is I accepted the fact that a clear standard may not exist. The status which you read was my position for that moment. I concluded that the Army as a whole does not have definite expectations for its officers or at best does not know what that standard is. Realizing that my experience is not all encompassing I limit my expression of that from the Army does not know to Ryan does not know. My not knowing is not an expression of dislike. On the contrary. It has actually been a motivator for me to accept officership seeeing it as an opportunity to minister.

I do not want anyone to take a negative conotation from this. It was not intended to be such. What you should take from it is a recognized call for myself to be involved in helping shape and define Salvation Army officership as well as a need for those of you who do have opinions on this matter to let me know.

It is good to be back on a regular routine. I would love to share more of my experience in Sioux Falls now but I just do not have the energy. Stay tuned for more stories on that. If you have any thoughts on officership you would like to share please, please comment below. All comments are private until moderated so if you'd like to share with me alone start your comment with the word PRIVATE and I will delete it after reading. I will not publicly post any comments mark as PRIVATE. That goes for this and any other blog. See you again soon.

***Thank you for reading. Don't forget to vote up top and give a thumbs up or down below. I want to know what content is worth writing. And please feel free to comment as you wish. I love to hear your thoughts.***